Who am I?

S vintage star
S filipina now living in california
S obsessive-compulsive... make that compulsive-obsessive... no, obsessive-compulsive
S cold all the time (literally)

current terror alert level
Terror Alert Level

Why is Life Cold?

i actually have a very happy life. i just saw this graphic one day and got an inspiration for another blog. why not write about the stuff that makes life cold? from the huge, catastrophic, life-altering events to the seemingly trivial, little incidents that rub you the wrong way. it doesn't have to be a personal experience, it can be something observed.

on writing these down, my intent is to learn to appreciate life more and have a better handle on things when life throws you a curve ball. i want whoever will read this to contemplate, not get depressed. hopefully, you'll share with me your experiences as well so we can learn from each other.

p.s. it doesn't always have to be cold

Previous Posts


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Where I Go When I Feel Life Getting Cold

S Memento
S Jo's Forum
S Shai Coggins
S pinayexpat
S joyceline
S piehole (a very funny girl)
S Din's World
S pinayhekmi chronicles
S Linnor
S Tin
S kwentong tambay
S deja brew
S denden
S mushings
S Junkville (never fails)


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Homeland Insecurity

Recently, a former manager of mine sent me and some other friends an email sharing the good news that his family has moved to a new home and that they have become U.S. citizens. I responded to that email, still copying the whole gang, with my congratulations as well as sharing some of my own good news that I have also just bought a house and will be going for my Naturalization interview soon. I even joked that despite not being my manager anymore, I am still following his footsteps.

One of the people on copy of this email thread then sent a strange message. He said that he congratulates us half-heartedly because we met our accomplishments here in the States. He ends his email with this sentence: "If we are to dream of nation-building, we should free ourselves from the bondage of selfishness."

WTF? Although he did send another email later on apologizing and saying he might have given us the wrong impression (and by that point I'm not really sure what the right impression is), I can't help but get miffed with this response. Especially since it came from a person who has repeatedly tried to get a job here in our Corporate Headquarters in the U.S. and have even asked my help in doing so. What a hypocrite! How dare you accuse me of turning my back on my homeland, the Philippines, just because I have chosen to become an American citizen! By the way, I will be opting to have dual citizenship, because the Philippines has passed a law allowing this. I honestly told them that I am getting an American citizenship to avoid the hassles of entering different countries with a Philippine passport, and to not have to secure a visa for some countries I plan to visit in the future. If anything, America should accuse me of using her for convenience's sake.

I, like many Filipinos living here in the States, still contribute to the Philippine economy by regularly sending money back home to my family, money that I would never have earned if I stayed in the Philippines. I find that I have learned to love her more after I moved away, another sentiment that many Filipinos abroad share. I, who used to never get caught in a cinema showing Filipino movies back then, now seek and devour Filipino VCD's, or any magazine from back home. I go to Jollibee every chance I get not just because they have great chicken but because it reminds me of home. Home. What a strange word. I now consider San Jose as my home, but I proudly call the Philippines home without batting an eyelash. I didn't forsake her. I didn't leave her. She will always be in the sinews of my being.

Vangie Fuhrman got cold on 11.22.2004 6:24 PM. |

Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

I'm going back to find, some peace of mind in San Jose.

I'm in Seattle right now and I'm losing my mind! Out of loneliness, boredom, depression. I regularly come here, but this time it's weird. I'm bored out of my gourd. Maybe it's because I'm alone. But no, I've gone to the Needle, Pike Place market and downtown Seattle by myself in previous visits and enjoyed it. Maybe it's the weather. It's been raining the past two days (uh, hello? it's Seattle!) It's cold and wet and bleak and dreary. I miss my hubby. I miss my stepson. I miss my stepdog. 3 more days... sigh.

Can't wait to get back to San Jose.

Vangie Fuhrman got cold on 11.16.2004 9:11 PM. |

NaNo What Now?

As if my life wasn't hectic enough, I ludicrously decided to enlist in Nanowrimo, or National Novel Writing Month, where you commit to writing a 50,000-word novel in the month of November. I thought this would be a great way to jumpstart the idea that has been percolating at the back of my mind for a couple of years now to write a novel. After all, what drives output more effectively than a looming deadline, even if it's an incredibly daunting 30-day one?

Okay, 8 days down and my word count is 5,319/50,000 or a freakin' ten percent! And here I am writing on this blog instead of adding precious words to my novel! I am about ready to throw in the towel when I suddenly get this galvanizing and funny-as-heck email from Chris Baty, the brainchild of this insanity, that warns the wrimos to not get discouraged by the Wall of Week Two. Wall of week two?!?! I think I hit it back in day three. However, this email is the shot in the arm I needed.

So off I go, with rejuvenated passion to continue on the fight (and it is a fight to try to come up with however many ways to say "she stated.") I will try my darnedest best to finish this incredibly mediocre manuscript that will never see the light of publishing day, just to be able to proudly proclaim... on November 30... that I came, I saw, I wrimo'd!

And then it's time for the Nano Thank God It's Over party!

Official NaNoWriMo 2004 Participant

Vangie Fuhrman got cold on 11.08.2004 8:30 PM. |

Foreign Tongue

In the shower this morning, I started singing. What's amazing about this is the song I sang is a French song that I was taught in grade school a gazillion years ago (and have never sung since, until today). It was written by our school brother, Bro. Raymond Bronowicz, F.S.C. to honor some French big wigs who were to visit our school. Everyone in the school was taught the song so the visitors would be touched to see these cute brown kids singing (or at least trying to) something of their own.

Knowing not a single word of French (not even oui), we were made to practice it day in, day out, which is probably why it stuck in the inner recesses of my mind until it broke free today. So even if I don't remember what the song is about, whom they were for, nor what I had for lunch yesterday, the words just started rolling out of my tongue.

The song goes like this, though I'm going to butcher the spelling since I still don't know French:

Honneur à toi glorieux De La Salle
Apôtre des enfants et gardien de la foi
Vainqueur de l’ignorance à l’âme si fatale
Honneur à toi, honneur à toi

Ô toi que les e lous
Comme nous applaus dissent
Enchantment triomphant
Dan les parvis du ciel
Pour exalter ta gloire
Ici nos voix s’unissent
Avec ferveur au cantique éternel

Animo La Salle! <-- this is not part of the song, I'd just like to give a shout out to my beloved alma mater

Vangie Fuhrman got cold on 11.06.2004 3:56 PM. |