I've been down in the dumps lately. I cannot pinpoint one reason why, I believe it's due to many things.

First of all, I got sick last Sunday. Bad timing too, because I attended my friend's daughter's first birthday party (and thus wasn't able to hug and kiss her, boo), and I have worldwide training scheduled this week. When I wasn't getting better last Monday, I went home and tried to get as well as I could for I certainly couldn't conduct any training in that condition.

Tuesday at 5:00 pm, I trained our salespeople in Asia for the new computer system I'm rolling out. Three hours later, I rushed home and sedated myself with Nyquil, for I really felt sucky. The following day I had to get up at 5:30 am to train our salespeople in Americas and Europe. That same night at 7:30, I had to train our Customer Support people in India. I managed to conduct three good sessions, even earning kudos despite my coughing (which I apologized in advance for!). After three rounds of training, I was so pooped. Thank goodness for Augustine who was a trooper and helped me out with all the sessions, even though he didn't have to. You're a lifesaver, Auggie!

Also, I think I'm having a falling-out with my boss. It's mostly my fault because I talked back to her during a staff meeting, so she kind of lost face, but I couldn't help it. I really lost my cool because she has been trying my temper recently. She is under a lot of pressure and tends to take it out on her staff. She keeps on going back on her word on me, making me lose face to my vendors. I've finally had it when she did it another time that I gave her proof that contradicted her statement, in front of all her staff. She lamely blamed it on our reduced budget and left it at that, but by then I knew I've gone too far.

Pity, for she and I have a wonderful relationship. So wonderful that I'm being teased by my peers to be her favorite. I just attribute that to jealousy, because I know my worth and how much I contribute to the firm. My own frustration has gotten to a level that I have even started looking at job openings elsewhere. Pity again for I really like my job, for the most part. I am very comfortable at my company, highly respected and genuinely like all the people I work with.

So here I am, still sick, hoping to get out of this rut soon. I think this is God's way of reminding me that it is holy week, and I should contemplate and meditate instead of doing worldly things. I only smiled when, lying on the couch, I asked my husband to bring me socks for my cold feet, and he got me these:

Vangie Fuhrman got cold on 3.24.2005 7:11 PM. |